The Why Me Slip

July 12, 2013

I realized that yesterday I was feeling lousy and just blogged stuff to try to make myself feel better. I slipped back into the “Why Me”s I guess. It happens. I can be all strong and okay with everything and once in a while I just get down. But, this blog is supposed to be my opportunity to impart my past 13 years experience with the disease, not just a place to go on about what I’m feeling now. I can’t go back now though, so let’s talk about why I decided to go on about my pursuit to get off meds to make myself feel better…I promise it has to do with the past.
     See, over the years I have found that no matter what type of symptom I have, there is a medicine for it. However, the medicines sometimes made me feel…well…not myself. Don’t ask me who I felt like, I just know it wasn’t me. Then, when I would mention that to the doctor, I would be given another medicine to counteract that feeling. That medicine would then have it’s own issues and I would either get a modification of the dose or another medication. At some point, I was on daily doses of four different medications, the disease modifying medication (shots at that time), and two other medications to handle occasional problems. All I wanted was to go off everything and start all over again. Unfortunately, working full time, I was worried something would happen if I did that to affect my job, so I stayed on them.
     January 1 came this year without my usual meditative start of the year and I felt lost. So, I decided to go for it. Since experience has taught me that adding medicine wasn’t going to work for me, I began to look for options. I had great experience in the past with Yoga, but I have been unable to get a class that fit in my schedule. Drawing on some of my Yoga teachings, I thought about different things and searched the internet and lo and behold I found an herbal tea company called Yogi Teas. They have blends for certain conditions and so I gave them a try. The first one I tried for energy worked great. Now I continue to try others. I figure that for many things that are made artificially, there is a corresponding herb or something that can do the same thing. Not for everything, but for most.
     Of course I brought the teas to my doctor to make sure the ingredients wouldn’t interfere with anything I am still taking, including the new oral disease modification medication. I can’t stress enough how important it is to run everything like this by a doctor to check the effects. Just because something is natural, it doesn’t mean it can’t do some harm.
     I see I digressed from my original point. I decided to go on about it yesterday because I was feeling down, right. Why would that post make me feel better? Because I needed to remind myself that I am doing something to get myself back. Get back to feeling like me and not whoever that other person is that I’ve been feeling inhabiting my body. I don’t pretend to have the qualifications to give anyone advice, but I do hope that my experiences can make others look into their own situations and figure out what is best for them. So my pursuit rings a bell and makes others look at what they need to feel and what will make them feel their best, I guess I’ve done my job.

These are the opinions of Debby Nowicki only and do not reflect those of the IEEE or any other organization or individual.

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